One of the reasons, I would choose to go back to childhood is because it was soo much easier to say what you felt then, As a kid it was simple, I would cry when I was hurt, I would scream to be heard, I would even go blue and I am not sure weather the purpose was served, but it didn’t really matter then, all it needed was for me to say it.
As individuals, we are blessed with this ability to communicate and I am not sure at what age that blessing simply disappears.
Yes, communication is the first thing we learn in life. Foolishly ecstatic on that ability, naïve to the fact, that one once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it will become to know what to say, to say what you want, and to want to say what you really feel.
Ofcourse, on such days you would scribble in your diary or blog random things on which no one really gives a damn. (giggles). But the point is, you don’t see it coming, I wish there was a rule book for these kind of things, you know they would tell you
When your wrong: Shut up and listen!
When it hurts : Cry (and its okai to do so)
When your happy: Smile!
When you know it: Say it!
Ofcourse, this is my version of a pseudo rule book, of which I don’t live by at all.
Because, then one day, just I discovered some other secrets of life; I realized that this inability is a blessing of its own.
Some times, you needn’t say what you feel, sometimes, its good to contemplate; sometimes you’re glad you never opened your mouth.
But sometimes, there are some things you just can't help but talk about.
Sometimes, there are things, we just don't want to hear, sometimes, we cant wait to hear somethings and sometimes, we say some things because we can't be silent any longer.
Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. Some things someone else would say it for you.
But most importantly, sometimes, not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Sunday, July 01, 2007
One thoughtful Morning…
I woke up today feeling a bit like myself – lost, lazy, pissed off, ready for self analysis to build up that irritatingly positive attitude. Its a love and hate relationship with me and postive thinking and, something innately honest about me makes this self-analysis a verrry unpleasant process. If my closest friends knew about the worthless thoughts that cross my mind when I am alone, they would take one real good look at me and hold thier thumb and forefinger to their foreheads - in a resounding capital L! (haha)
But being alone makes you do crazy things, experient with some skills you thought you never had (fyi- I just mean cooking). For the past one month now, I have been living alone, trying very hard to simulate the work life balance, albeit a pathetic attempt. By the end of 2 weeks, I almost had domino’s on speed dail. Can you blame me? its no fun cooking for yourself, and I am not that good either.
Yes, being alone can be quite introspective.
Bur sometimes, its just want you need, to be able to define that space for yourself, create that artificial distance, probably because it is only then do you realize how its feels to be close to someone. It’s a choice you will then eventually make
John Donne, once had an opinion about being alone, He thought we are never alone.
Of course; it was a lot fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself."
Boil down all that island talk, and what he really meant was that all anyone needs is someone else to step in, even on a day when you think you don’t need it. You do!
It could be just a phone call, a lovely dinner, a close friend, or just someone with four legs, someone to play with, run around with or just hang out.
So why do we do all this overtime in creating that distance, defining our space, and spend so much rotting in it, that the end of the tunnel, we see no light, we are just hoping for a rescue, pretending to others and mostly to ourselves.
It’s maybe because some part of us, is kept under the wraps, and I think its important that it remains that way and that’s what the distance is for.
But the funny thing is that there are times, when we do all the cartwheels and jumping through the hoops just to avoid that space and shorten that distance, especially with someone else, and that’s okai too.
Because at the end of the day, we’re just human, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull shit!!
We pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, or they hurt us.
The people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping.
And sure, sometimes close can be too close. Sometimes you want your personal space, but sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need!!
But being alone makes you do crazy things, experient with some skills you thought you never had (fyi- I just mean cooking). For the past one month now, I have been living alone, trying very hard to simulate the work life balance, albeit a pathetic attempt. By the end of 2 weeks, I almost had domino’s on speed dail. Can you blame me? its no fun cooking for yourself, and I am not that good either.
Yes, being alone can be quite introspective.
Bur sometimes, its just want you need, to be able to define that space for yourself, create that artificial distance, probably because it is only then do you realize how its feels to be close to someone. It’s a choice you will then eventually make
John Donne, once had an opinion about being alone, He thought we are never alone.
Of course; it was a lot fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself."
Boil down all that island talk, and what he really meant was that all anyone needs is someone else to step in, even on a day when you think you don’t need it. You do!
It could be just a phone call, a lovely dinner, a close friend, or just someone with four legs, someone to play with, run around with or just hang out.
So why do we do all this overtime in creating that distance, defining our space, and spend so much rotting in it, that the end of the tunnel, we see no light, we are just hoping for a rescue, pretending to others and mostly to ourselves.
It’s maybe because some part of us, is kept under the wraps, and I think its important that it remains that way and that’s what the distance is for.
But the funny thing is that there are times, when we do all the cartwheels and jumping through the hoops just to avoid that space and shorten that distance, especially with someone else, and that’s okai too.
Because at the end of the day, we’re just human, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull shit!!
We pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, or they hurt us.
The people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping.
And sure, sometimes close can be too close. Sometimes you want your personal space, but sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need!!
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