Dreams....

I haven’t been myself for the last couple of weeks, I have been waking up to feeling like another person, I drag through the day as another person and I lay awake the whole night as another person. Too many parts of me are awake at once and I am overwhelmed for each has a mind of its own.

There is a part that reads philosophy, debates politics and fights another day to make things better, there is part that talks endlessly to her friends on trivial issues that then seem like a matter of life and death, there is part that gets sloshed over not so cheap booze with great friends every other weekend, there is part that makes choices, there is a part that runs away, there is part that contemplates, a part that changes, a part that dreams, a part that loves, a part that cares and a part that doesn’t.

I don’t know what part feels like writing, but there are something’s that need to be said without actually saying them. This space is for me.

Its roughly 2 am, and I wondering about the decisions I am making in my life, standing even so on the crossroads of being undecided and unsure I still step a foot on the path that I have no clue to where it leads, a price you pay to go by just your instincts

My family always thought I was a dreamer and told me I needed to keep my feet on the ground. I never understood the harm in escaping into a dream world filled with possibilities, where you can neatly avoid ever being hurt, disappointed or have your spirit annihilated.

Maybe the danger is when you choose to come back to reality, you no longer have the invisible shield and you are only flesh and blood. Pain has the subtle of company of surprise it discovers you when you don’t expect it.

I am at crossroads and the path seems perfect, God’s special gift to his whiny daughter who has waited so long for her dream. So I will smile and spread my wings and I fill fly happy in that direction.

Fearful to the unknown, but hopeful always.