Somethings I learnt...

My recent encounter with a failed opportunity (once again) has left a bitter taste in my mouth. Usually with experience I know the routine, its gargle and spit! This time it doesn’t seem to work. My routine has failed me and I am stuck! Unable to reason and unable to move on. Making me feel like a fool to myself. I hear myself saying “stop it you loathing bitch! And move on its no biggee” yes I believe that but I still can’t move on.

That is because; this bitter taste is not of this opportunity but of many unanswered questions I have been asking myself over the last few months.

Almost a year back (is you scroll down you can read it yourself) I took a drastic decision to leave behind everything I worked hard to get and go do something I believed it. I remember reading books that said there is where I find true happiness. Yes I was happy. Yes I am happy. But now my happiness comes and goes. Its not constant. I find myself where I left off. Wondering , thinking… hoping yet again.

I have experienced a lot in the last year, things I cant express, happiness, joy, unbound. It was almost surreal. Till reality kicked in. The focus shifted to me again and I found myself staring in the mirror once again looking for answers.

I haven’t found any, I am not sure if I ever will. But I have learnt somethings and I wish to share …

1. No matter what decision you take. You have a price to pay and on some days you will regret it. That’s realization.

2. In every job you will have to suck up and play politics to get your way. You might as well do that doing something you love. That’s compromise.

3. You will meet friends, boyfriends, sex buddies, significant others. They will like you maybe even love you but they will find a way to hurt you. That’s human.

4. You will miss out on opportunities. You will want to turn back time. You will hate some guts but you will put up with it. That’s patience.

5. Some days you will cry all by yourself, some days you will laugh. In either ways you will be on your own. Every one your surrounded by are only names But you will find courage in yourself. That’s strength.

6. The only people you love to prove yourself too is your family. But when you fail to do that the only people you want to run to is your family. That’s love.

7. Regardless, of anything you feel today or tomorrow, if you find the will to get up and walk out of that door, your just fine. That’s life.

I am yet to put off my splattered thoughts together. I am yet to find a way to move on and reason. I will soon but I will take my time.

Till then…